Allez les oeufs!

My campaign to infiltrate the British media with all things doggy continues - I'm going to be in Cosmo in order to get Dogs Trust coverage. PHOTOSHOOT 'N' ALL! I will be with a lovely 3 legged Lurcher called Elvis. A little bit afraid and feel like I need to have a shot or two of gin to relax in front of that hideous, phallic, all-blemish-revealing camera lens. They're also doing my hair and makeup - hoping for X Factor-esque layers of face paint and bouffante hair. If they dress me in a skirt suit I might laugh my way out of it.

Today I am tired but pleased. Also there is a Spanish omelette on the way - this is a good thing.

I really am rubbish at this - it's been weeks since I've written anything. All sorts have happened - a marriage, reunion with long lost brother, family health scare, TV appearance, offer to be in Cosmo magazine... However most pertinent in my mind tonight is the fact that in the past week I have lost:

beloved horse brooch
Oyster card
diary
mind

I'm starting to think a magpie is following me around. That, or a stalker. Either is incredibly annoying and even tidying my room hasn't revealed the treasure.