Allez les oeufs!

My campaign to infiltrate the British media with all things doggy continues - I'm going to be in Cosmo in order to get Dogs Trust coverage. PHOTOSHOOT 'N' ALL! I will be with a lovely 3 legged Lurcher called Elvis. A little bit afraid and feel like I need to have a shot or two of gin to relax in front of that hideous, phallic, all-blemish-revealing camera lens. They're also doing my hair and makeup - hoping for X Factor-esque layers of face paint and bouffante hair. If they dress me in a skirt suit I might laugh my way out of it.

Today I am tired but pleased. Also there is a Spanish omelette on the way - this is a good thing.

I really am rubbish at this - it's been weeks since I've written anything. All sorts have happened - a marriage, reunion with long lost brother, family health scare, TV appearance, offer to be in Cosmo magazine... However most pertinent in my mind tonight is the fact that in the past week I have lost:

beloved horse brooch
Oyster card
diary
mind

I'm starting to think a magpie is following me around. That, or a stalker. Either is incredibly annoying and even tidying my room hasn't revealed the treasure.

I do anything for you, dear

Yesterday I did a two hour charity spinathon and it didn't actually hurt my legs or lungs or anything. I'm told the effects will be felt tomorrow instead - so at Chris and Tova's wedding I may well be hobbling about. If so, I hope the hobbling stays until Friday so my Edith Piaf costume will be all the more authentic...

Also yesterday I saw two rasta painter and decorators on their lunch break. I was buying natural yogurt from Iceland (possibly the only thing Kerry Katona wouldn't eat from there), they were getting cleaning products. I ended up walking behind them in the street and ahoy a marvellous cliche - they were smoking a spliff. I'm sure their paint strokes were ever so louche yesterday afternoon.

ALSO yesterday (I probably should've written this yesterday), I bought around twenty bananas for a quid from Chapel St market. I have just baked a glut of banana-based goods, and tomorrow's breakfast will be a banana smoothie, with banana bread and banana biscuit on the side. Yellow skin is SEXY.

And today? Today I was interviewed by three young whippersnapper journalists, in front of around twenty journalism students. Much less horrible than I thought it would be.

Tonight

• I got noticeably tipsy on one glass of wine


• Eliot told me a long anecdote about poo


• I baked cupcakes


• I am listening to The Knife

Rien de rien

I think I will dress up as Edith Piaf for Hallowe'en.

Slow Club

BCN, shaky faces and fashion

I'm not doing very well with keeping up to date with this. Since I last wrote on this here blog I have been to Barcelona, papped in the street by a global fashion website (no joke of a lie) and narrowly avoided being on London TV next to a large cardboard cut out of Gordon Brown.

Some images, because I'm too tired to tap-tap-taper away, mes chers.

SHAKY FACE ACADEMY

YO Italiano

Back-o from Italy-o. Ate cheese:


and ice cream the size of a beach:



And admired a brand of butter called Clever:

And saw a smoking giraffe:

Ruddy great.

Fingertail says hello

This is my blogging debut - hello.

Here comes the sun - and the tent and the wine that looks like piss and the spiders...

End of the Road Festival 2008

• Ruddy ace - got back on Monday after a few days of glorious grubbiness. Well, partial grubbiness because I admit I DID wash my hair every morning. That was also to get rid of all the money spiders that no doubt crept in overnight.
• Only one day of rain and I caught the sun on Sunday so now I have two bibs of brown skin on the front and back of my neck. HOT.
• The fairylights tunnel in the woods again delighted me to a ridiculous degree. To be copied at any opportunity - parties, weddings, barmitzvahs etc
• It was sad coming back to the metropolis. Although I do love it here, I also wish it was cleaner and brighter and less busy and that I could have a dog to walk. One of the acts had his Collie with him and I saw him walk her alongside the camping field. THAT'S a good life - being able to play your music to a welcoming audience and take your dog with you wherever you go.
• On the last morning Sophia and I had a fair bit of leftover food supplies to get through and we needed some Hot Stodge so we bought some veg sausage mix from the on-site, overpriced organic supply shop, added some remaining red wine and olives and fried the squidgy stuff in butter over the smallest but most welcome camping stove in the world.

Here are some pictures to reveal progress:

Sophia and the initial mixing of the slop

I am unimpressed and unclean

The End Result - surprisingly good, despite appearances.

NB after the above we also ate couscous and half a fried egg each.

The End.

x